'Send oppa a photo': Parents' warning to abuser erased evidence in child sex-abuse case

Parents react in shock after discovering sexually exploitative text messages their underage child exchanged with a man they did not know. [Generated by AI]

In April, the Jungnang Police Station in Seoul investigated a child sexual exploitation case involving a man in his 20s, referred to as A. He exchanged messages with a 13-year-old on Instagram and eventually met the child in person. A was accused of touching the victim's body during the encounter. After belatedly learning what had happened, the child's parents obtained the man's contact information and warned him directly. They told him, in effect, "An adult should not meet a minor. If you contact her again, we will sue you."

The trouble began after that. Following the parents' contact, the conversation between the victim and A was deleted. Based on the remaining evidence and statements, police referred A, without detention, to the Seoul Northern District Prosecutors' Office in July on charges of indecent assault against a minor. But investigators had difficulty securing key digital evidence. Prosecutors have not yet issued a decision on the case.

A Jungnang Police Station Women and Juvenile Affairs Division official said, "There are cases where parents, upon learning of the abuse, contact the offender first, saying things like, 'Do not meet our child,' or 'We will sue you.' This raises the risk that the suspect will delete the conversation or exploitative material, or get rid of their phone, which can pose a major obstacle to investigation and punishment." Police urged parents not to delete or reset their child's phone but to preserve it as is, and to report to police first rather than contacting the suspect directly.

Adults continue to approach minors through social media chats, online games and similar platforms before committing sex crimes. In some cases, parents' preemptive response after discovering their child's victimization has instead complicated the investigation.

From flattery to photo demands to in-person meetings

Instagram, KakaoTalk open chat rooms and X, formerly known as Twitter, are the most common channels through which victims and suspects first make contact.

Adults build rapport with children by complimenting their appearance and buying them small gifts. Once the child's guard is down, the adult asks for photos of parts of their body. Eventually, the adult proposes meeting in person — the so-called "grooming" method. In this process, children sometimes come to feel affection for the other party and comply with requests even without any threats or coercion.

A police official said, "Unlike the organized Nth Room case in the past, most of these cases involve an individual approaching a victim on their own, and cases involving monetary transactions are rare."

A meeting held in April by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family's support center for child and teenage victims of sexual exploitation. [Courtesy of the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family]

In December 2025, a man in his 20s approached a 15-year-old on Instagram, building intimacy by complimenting her appearance through messages. About a month later, the two met in person, and the man took the victim to his home, had sex with her and received photos of her exposed body. He was detained in June.

In October 2025, another man in his 20s approached a 12-year-old through a mobile game. Their conversation, which began in the game's chat function, continued on KakaoTalk, and investigators found that the man continued making sexual remarks and asking for photos of the child's body. A Jungnang Police Station official who investigated the case said, "Even if the case does not progress to actual sex, sexual conversation with a minor or demands for body photos can be prosecuted under charges related to sexually exploitative conversation or sexual exploitation material."

Young victims often cannot immediately tell their parents what happened. Because the other party treats them kindly and expresses affection, they often do not recognize it as a crime. Even after later realizing it was a crime, victims sometimes delete the conversations or photos first out of fear of being scolded by their parents, or out of shame.

A Mapo Police Station Women and Juvenile Affairs Division official said, "When people exchange personal information, photos or videos online with someone whose face they do not know, it may initially look like an attempt to win favor, but it can later be used for crime. We are teaching students not to easily accept even small gifts from strangers and to be cautious when using open chat rooms."

Guidelines on online grooming caution and initial response steps. [Generated by AI]

Digital sex crimes triple in a decade

The shift of sex crimes against children and teenagers toward online platforms is also reflected in statistics. According to the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family's "2025 Analysis of Trends in Sex Crimes Against Children and Teenagers," the number of offenders in digital sex crimes against children and teenagers in 2024 reached 1,049, accounting for 26.7 percent of the total — more than triple the figure from a decade earlier. The number of victims was tallied at 1,721.

Among victims of online grooming, 87.3 percent got to know their offender through internet chatting or similar platforms. The initial point of contact was a chat app or open chat room in 42.5 percent of cases and social media in 33.6 percent, and 59.6 percent of cases in which the victim met the offender online led to an actual in-person meeting. The average age of all child and teenage sex crime victims in 2024 was 13.9.

Experts say that rather than discouraging parents from getting involved, it is necessary to give them concrete guidance on what to do the moment they discover their child has been victimized. Parents acting on their own, out of a desire to protect their child, can end up making it harder to secure evidence or carry out an investigation.

Kim Yoon-hee, a senior research fellow at the National Youth Policy Institute, said, "It is difficult in practice to simply tell parents not to get involved. Rather than intervening emotionally, we need to give them a clear, concrete principle: first secure the child's safety and preserve the evidence, then connect with a specialized agency or investigative authorities."

A child sexual exploitation prevention education session held at Songgok High School on April 17. [Courtesy of Jungnang Police Station]

Kim also pointed out that the "initial response protocol" — what parents should do after discovering their child has been victimized — is not well known. She said, "Parents may think that resolving the problem directly is what an active, responsible parent should do. When a problem arises, rather than interrogating their child or contacting the suspected offender directly, parents need to be taught in advance to preserve evidence and seek help from specialized agencies."

She emphasized that parents' role should be redefined — not as a "watcher, controller or fixer" of their child, but as an "early detector, safety provider, evidence preserver and connector to specialized agencies."

The Korean National Police Agency set up dedicated child sexual exploitation teams at police stations nationwide last year to take charge of investigating such crimes against children. An official from Jungnang Police Station's Women and Juvenile Affairs Investigation Team 5 said, "Even if parents are angry, it is important that they do not contact the suspect first to reveal that a report has been filed. They should preserve their child's phone and the conversation as is, report to police, and if physical contact or sexual assault is suspected, secure forensic evidence through a Sunflower Center or a similar victim support facility."

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