[YouTube channel 'Mwodeunhagiru']
[YouTube channel 'Mwodeunhagiru']

Comedian Shin Gi-ru has opened up about the guilt she had long kept buried after losing her mother.

In a video posted Wednesday to the YouTube channel Mwodeunhagiru, Shin sat down with fellow comedian Seong Hyeon-ju for a mukbang featuring grilled beef intestines.

During the video, Shin spoke about how she felt at the time of her mother's death. "This is something I haven't been able to say anywhere, but recently I was looking through photos and found one of myself at a high-end omakase restaurant — a meal that came to around 500,000 won ($374) — taken just three days before my mother passed away," Shin said. "Looking at that photo of myself posing with the food, I saw myself for what I was — still doing that kind of thing just three days before she died," Shin added. "I feel so guilty about drinking after work like that," Shin confessed.

Shin said she deliberately avoids looking at photos of her mother in order to keep her emotions in check.

"It's not like sitting by her side like a devoted daughter would have solved anything," Shin said. "Hospital rules also meant I couldn't stay by her side the whole time."

"I'm keeping all my emotions suppressed right now," Shin went on to say. "I don't go anywhere to cry. Even at home, I stop myself from looking at my mother's photos. I feel like if the emotions I've been holding back burst out, I won't be able to handle it."

Shin lost her mother in March.


choigo@heraldcorp.com