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A man says his wife subjected their two elementary school-age children to a grueling hagwon schedule lasting until midnight — while using that time to meet another man — and has asked for legal advice on divorcing her and winning custody.

The case aired Wednesday on YTN Radio's "Jo In-seop's Legal Consultation," featuring a listener identified as A, a man 14 years into his marriage.

A described himself as the father of a sixth-grade daughter and a fourth-grade son, saying his wife is a full-time homemaker while he works a regular office job.

He said he had long left housework and the children's education entirely to his wife, but had grown increasingly troubled by her approach to schooling.

"On weekday nights, the kids wouldn't get home from hagwon until nearly midnight, and even then they had to work through math workbooks until 2 a.m.," he said. "When they begged her to let them sleep, she would get angry and tell them they lacked mental fortitude."

He added that on weekends the children were up at 7 a.m. and cycled through math, English, essay-writing and piano hagwon until after 9 p.m. "The only free time they get in an entire week is about two hours on Sunday afternoon," he said.

A said he confronted his wife, telling her the schedule amounted to child abuse, but every such conversation ended in a fight.

Then one day he happened to see a message from an unfamiliar man appear on his wife's phone.

The message read: "Babe, are we meeting at the usual time today?"

He read through the full exchange and discovered that his wife had been regularly meeting another man during the hours she sent the children to hagwon.

"The man was a noraebang host-bar worker," A said. "There is no direct evidence of a sexual relationship, but the text messages are full of lover-like exchanges and records of frequent secret meetings. The real reason she was driving the kids so hard and sending them off to hagwon was to buy herself time for an affair. I'm shaking with rage."

A said he intends to divorce his wife over what he called child abuse and infidelity, and wants to obtain custody himself. "I want to raise the kids in a way that lets them breathe," he said, asking whether it was realistic for a father to win custody given that many online posts suggest it is difficult.

Attorney Bae Su-ji said the children's situation — kept awake until the early hours and struggling under the strain — appeared to exceed the bounds of ordinary education.

Bae added that the wife's sustained pattern of meeting and communicating with the noraebang worker in a romantic manner could itself constitute a breach of marital trust and grounds for divorce, even without proof of a sexual relationship.

She added that if A had obtained the man's name and contact details, he could also file a damages claim against him directly.

On the custody question, Bae said a father can win custody if he can demonstrate a stable caregiving environment. "Courts place the child's welfare first, so it is important to show that the father has a strong bond with the children," she said.

Particularly helpful, Bae advised, would be evidence of a steady income and the availability of supporting caregivers such as the children's grandparents.


yeonjoo7@heraldcorp.com