Photo is unrelated to the article. [Getty Images Bank]
Photo is unrelated to the article. [Getty Images Bank]

A man who discovered his wife had begun seeing another man after the couple agreed to a "graduated marriage" has asked whether he can file a lawsuit against her lover.

The case was featured in a recent video on attorney Yang Na-rae's YouTube channel, titled "We agreed to a graduated marriage — can I sue the man my wife is seeing?"

The video introduced the story of a man identified as A, who has been married for 28 years.

A said that after their children had all moved out, his wife proposed they enter a graduated marriage, telling him: "I've spent my whole life taking care of you and the kids with no life of my own. I want to live freely now."

After deliberating, A agreed, telling her he would not interfere if she came home late, skipped family events or ancestral rites, or traveled with friends. His wife, in turn, promised that neither would intrude on the other's private life.

His wife then threw herself into an active new lifestyle — taking classes at a community center and going on trips with friends. About five or six months later, however, A said he began to notice changes: she was wearing heavier makeup and drinking alcohol, something she had never done before.

One day, he found romantic messages between his wife and another man on her phone while she was asleep after drinking.

When he confronted her, she pushed back. "We have a graduated marriage — we agreed not to interfere in each other's private lives. Why are you doing this?" she said, adding, "If you see another woman, I won't say a word either."

A also found messages in which his wife had described their relationship to the other man as "a cool arrangement my husband knows about." When A said he wanted to revoke the graduated-marriage agreement, his wife refused, saying it could not be undone.

A ultimately asked: "Can I still file a lawsuit against the other man in a case like this? If we have a graduated marriage, does that mean I have no legal recourse no matter who my spouse sees?"

Attorney Yang, reviewing the case, explained that a graduated marriage is not a legal concept but rather a lifestyle arrangement, and that the couple remains legally married under the law.

Yang said that a promise not to interfere in each other's private lives does not, on its own, constitute consent to an extramarital affair. "Unless there was a clear and specific agreement permitting infidelity, an affair can still constitute an act of adultery under the law," she said. She added that in this case, the husband could seek damages from his wife and could also file a third-party interference lawsuit against the man, provided the man knew she was married when they began seeing each other.


choigo@heraldcorp.com